Everything has been finished. Although it is ended by misery. That’s life. We cannot be happy forever. Sometimes we have to get pain. For the sake of the precious experience.
And you always make my feeling be up and down. Actually, I felt tired with these all. What do you want to me? You’ve stated that you could be the best. Hahaha. Time is still long, but you make it be short. You finally give up with this condition. You can defeat the obstacles, but you are not serious with what happen in front of you.
From beginning you want to come back to me, I have said I can’t expect SO MUCH from your rhetorics because I wanna a proof, not just saying. But you can’t prove it at all to me. I’m fine when you have to leave. Coz I haven’t expected you so much since you made me disappointed. You would prefer her than me.
I am not your doll, Barbie, or anything else of yours. I still have feeling that must be kept to be happy always. At least, not to be GALAU because unclear status of relationship.
Yup. Today, you want to leave me. Please. That’s your willing. That’s OK. I’m fine. 🙂 I don’t ask you to keep standing besides me because I can be independent. I still love my parents, families, my great teachers, and my best friends. You are not fully wrong, and I am not fully right. Maybe, it is the way for each other to learn. Be better. I can still survive. Without you. Many others outside.
Everything has been finished. Although it is ended by misery. That’s life. We cannot be happy forever. Sometimes we have to get pain. For the sake of the precious experience.
And you always make my feeling be up and down. Actually, I felt tired with these all. What do you want to me? You’ve stated that you could be the best. Hahaha. Time is still long, but you make it be short. You finally give up with this condition. You can defeat the obstacles, but you are not serious with what happen in front of you.
From beginning you want to come back to me, I have said I can’t expect SO MUCH from your rhetorics because I wanna a proof, not just saying. But you can’t prove it at all to me. I’m fine when you have to leave. Coz I haven’t expected you so much since you made me disappointed. You would prefer her than me.
I am not your doll, Barbie, or anything else of yours. I still have feeling that must be kept to be happy always. At least, not to be GALAU because unclear status of relationship.
Yup. Today, you want to leave me. Please. That’s your willing. That’s OK. I’m fine. 🙂 I don’t ask you to keep standing besides me because I can be independent. I still love my parents, families, my great teachers, and my best friends. You are not fully wrong, and I am not fully right. Maybe, it is the way for each other to learn. Be better. I can still survive. Without you. Many others outside.
Harus diakui kalau suasana tengah malam seperti ini adalah suasana yang paling tenang untuk menulis hal-hal yang ingin dikatakan. Tidak untuk menghina dia, memaki dia, dan mengintimidasi dia. Bukan itu. Saya masih punya iman dan berpikir beribu-ribu kali untuk melakukan hal-hal tersebut.
Saya cuma ingin mengucapkan terima kasih syukur alhamdulillah kepada Allah. Karena dengan Dia beri petunjuk kepada saya malam kemarin, saya bisa mengambil keputusan secara bulat penuh tanpa ada perasaan bersalah kepadanya, tanpa saya harus menyakitinya. 🙂
Ini semua di luar dugaan. Tapi, berita yang sangat menyenangkan untuk ditunggu-tunggu. Terima kasih ya Allah. Akhirnya saya mencoba untuk berjalan di jalanMu dengan penuh keikhlasan. Setidaknya laranganMu ini sudah bisa saya hindari.
Postingan saya kali ini, memang adalah curhatan. Tapi, ini sangat berarti sekali. Tanpa ini, saya malah kelihatan introvert. Pikiran ini bakalan mengendap begitu saja sehingga menutup kreativitas saya. Saya butuh menulis. Di blog, bukan di diary.
Skali lagi, di sini, saya tidak ingin mencerca orang. Cuma ingin memberi selamat.
Selamat kepada dia. Semoga bahagia dan langgeng. 🙂
Trima kasih atas kerjasamanya selama ini.
Tidak akan ada dendam. Hanya keikhlasan untuk tetap menjalani hidup, apapun perwujudannya. Karena semua ini rahasia Allah SWT. kepada umatNya.
*Allah, trima kasih Engkau sudah membuka mata dan hatiku lebar-lebar secara sadar, nyata, dan jelas untuk hal ini. Semoga kami semua diberi anugerahMu. Aamiin.
When I was in Junior High School at first class, I knew nothing about English. I’s blind of it. I felt like a stupid student. I was very jealous to my classmates. They had known it. I still remember when there was English subject, we were asked to write a sentence by using Simple Present Tense form by our teacher. Every my classmate could do well, and me, nothing. I was always wrong and wrong. It made me bad. I didn’t like my condition like that. So, I asked to my parents to give me chance for joining in an English Course.
google.com
My first English course was in KECC (Kendari English Conversation Course). It’s located before Laelangi Market. I joint there for 6 months. Then, I felt rather good for learning English. Then, when I was in the top class at junior high school, I tried again to join in an English course because some of my friends joined there. So, I followed them. I joint in BEC (Buton English Course) at February 2nd, 2006 and the course principal was H. Ld. Abd. Azis Hasim, S.Pd., M.Sc. till I was in Senior High School at 2009. For 3 years. But maybe, I am not good enough yet in learning English.
I like my last English Course, BEC. The condition was very different with English course before. When I joint in BEC, I felt I had nothing yet. My friends were very fluent to say English sentences and I couldn’t do anything. Just could look them, I was very surprised. Although I had joint in an English course before, I felt I didn’t have anything. My English was very weak. But my vocabularies were good enough.
My first teacher was Mr. Acho. He was clever. He was Mr. Azis’ assistant to teach student in BEC because he could teach well. I liked him. I liked his teaching. I didn’t know how Mr. Azis as the owner that course was. I never looked him. Until one time, he changed Mr. Acho to teach us. First, I didn’t like if Mr. Azis taught us because that was my first time to meet him face to face. I felt afraid when I must be taught by him. I didn’t know I did like that. But, when he started to teach us, I felt happiness, I could laugh together with him and my friends. I felt very happy. He taught us with love. He taught us with a joke but serious. Mr. Azis is very kind. He gave me inspiration to be a good human by his story life. Everything is very precious for me. His laughing is very beautiful. I can never forget it. I am very happy and lucky to be his student.
Mr. Azis has given me a motivation to be a good man in learning English.
google.com
And I will try to improve my English because I want to be like him. I missed everything when he taught us. He always begins a lesson with smile and happiness. I miss him so much. I miss his smile. I miss his laughing and I miss his teaching. No one can change him. He is one of the best English teachers that I have. I just hope, one time he can be proud to me because he had had a student like me. Mr. Azis, I am thankful for you. Because of you, I can be like this now. I will never forget your smile, your spirit, your laughing, and everything. I miss you so much. I want to be able to have the experience again like in the past time.
When I was in Junior High School at first class, I knew nothing about English. I’s blind of it. I felt like a stupid student. I was very jealous to my classmates. They had known it. I still remember when there was English subject, we were asked to write a sentence by using Simple Present Tense form by our teacher. Every my classmate could do well, and me, nothing. I was always wrong and wrong. It made me bad. I didn’t like my condition like that. So, I asked to my parents to give me chance for joining in an English Course.
google.com
My first English course was in KECC (Kendari English Conversation Course). It’s located before Laelangi Market. I joint there for 6 months. Then, I felt rather good for learning English. Then, when I was in the top class at junior high school, I tried again to join in an English course because some of my friends joined there. So, I followed them. I joint in BEC (Buton English Course) at February 2nd, 2006 and the course principal was H. Ld. Abd. Azis Hasim, S.Pd., M.Sc. till I was in Senior High School at 2009. For 3 years. But maybe, I am not good enough yet in learning English.
I like my last English Course, BEC. The condition was very different with English course before. When I joint in BEC, I felt I had nothing yet. My friends were very fluent to say English sentences and I couldn’t do anything. Just could look them, I was very surprised. Although I had joint in an English course before, I felt I didn’t have anything. My English was very weak. But my vocabularies were good enough.
My first teacher was Mr. Acho. He was clever. He was Mr. Azis’ assistant to teach student in BEC because he could teach well. I liked him. I liked his teaching. I didn’t know how Mr. Azis as the owner that course was. I never looked him. Until one time, he changed Mr. Acho to teach us. First, I didn’t like if Mr. Azis taught us because that was my first time to meet him face to face. I felt afraid when I must be taught by him. I didn’t know I did like that. But, when he started to teach us, I felt happiness, I could laugh together with him and my friends. I felt very happy. He taught us with love. He taught us with a joke but serious. Mr. Azis is very kind. He gave me inspiration to be a good human by his story life. Everything is very precious for me. His laughing is very beautiful. I can never forget it. I am very happy and lucky to be his student.
Mr. Azis has given me a motivation to be a good man in learning English.
google.com
And I will try to improve my English because I want to be like him. I missed everything when he taught us. He always begins a lesson with smile and happiness. I miss him so much. I miss his smile. I miss his laughing and I miss his teaching. No one can change him. He is one of the best English teachers that I have. I just hope, one time he can be proud to me because he had had a student like me. Mr. Azis, I am thankful for you. Because of you, I can be like this now. I will never forget your smile, your spirit, your laughing, and everything. I miss you so much. I want to be able to have the experience again like in the past time.
Ketika hati menginginkan kedamaian yang tercipta di dalam diri. Ingin sekali menjadi bahagia sebahagia-bahagianya. Bukan karena tidak bersyukur, bukan karena sekarang tidak bahagia, tapi alam belum mendukungnya sepenuh hati. Masih ada sisi-sisi yang tertahan dari tiap sudut jiwa. Hingga perasaan ini serasa memiliki beban. Yah, untuk tidak menjadi gembira ataupun sedih.
google.com
Sekarang telah mulai terasa berbeda. Dan saya harus bisa beradaptasi dengan segala perubahan ini. Entah siapa yang salah. Apa mungkin saya lagi yang menjadi yang disalahkan? Sementara tidak ada seorang pun yang menyatakan pernyataan kalau saya adalah kesalahan. Hati ini semakin tidak jelas. Mulai tidak terbiasa dengan keadaan yang benar-benar terbalik dari sebelumnya. Kenapa demikian? Adakah yang salah dari cerita selama setahun ini? Atau telah berkurang rasa itu?
Saya memang tidak bisa memendam apa yang tersimpan dalam perasaan ini. Kedamaian hati ini pun akan semakin terusik. Raga ini akan semakin bergetar seiring isak tangis yang memecah kesunyian jiwa pemuja ketenangan.
Saya selalu memanjatkan do’a kepada Sang Pencipta agar hati ini ditenangkan selama terjadi perubahan situasi yang semoga hanya sementara.
Saya percaya sepenggal kalimat dari dosen saya, Ibu Nani Cahyani, “Believe and just believe in your dream then let God works perfectly to make all possible.” Hanya dengan sebuah kepercayaan semuanya akan tercipta. Percaya kepada Allah bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja dengan segala kebaikan yang kita kerjakan.
Terima kasih untuk pengertian dan kepercayaannya. Tidak sedikit terdengar suara sumbang yang hampir melemahkan kepercayaan ini. Banyak hal yang mampu meruntuhkan. Namun masih bisa bertahan. Karena kepercayaan ini. Kepercayaan yang dapat menawarkan kedamaian hati tiada batas.
Allah, kepadaMu aku tercipta. KepadaMu aku kembali. Karena hanya denganMu, kedamaian hati sesungguhnya itu ada.
Ketika hati menginginkan kedamaian yang tercipta di dalam diri. Ingin sekali menjadi bahagia sebahagia-bahagianya. Bukan karena tidak bersyukur, bukan karena sekarang tidak bahagia, tapi alam belum mendukungnya sepenuh hati. Masih ada sisi-sisi yang tertahan dari tiap sudut jiwa. Hingga perasaan ini serasa memiliki beban. Yah, untuk tidak menjadi gembira ataupun sedih.
google.com
Sekarang telah mulai terasa berbeda. Dan saya harus bisa beradaptasi dengan segala perubahan ini. Entah siapa yang salah. Apa mungkin saya lagi yang menjadi yang disalahkan? Sementara tidak ada seorang pun yang menyatakan pernyataan kalau saya adalah kesalahan. Hati ini semakin tidak jelas. Mulai tidak terbiasa dengan keadaan yang benar-benar terbalik dari sebelumnya. Kenapa demikian? Adakah yang salah dari cerita selama setahun ini? Atau telah berkurang rasa itu?
Saya memang tidak bisa memendam apa yang tersimpan dalam perasaan ini. Kedamaian hati ini pun akan semakin terusik. Raga ini akan semakin bergetar seiring isak tangis yang memecah kesunyian jiwa pemuja ketenangan.
Saya selalu memanjatkan do’a kepada Sang Pencipta agar hati ini ditenangkan selama terjadi perubahan situasi yang semoga hanya sementara.
Saya percaya sepenggal kalimat dari dosen saya, Ibu Nani Cahyani, “Believe and just believe in your dream then let God works perfectly to make all possible.” Hanya dengan sebuah kepercayaan semuanya akan tercipta. Percaya kepada Allah bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja dengan segala kebaikan yang kita kerjakan.
Terima kasih untuk pengertian dan kepercayaannya. Tidak sedikit terdengar suara sumbang yang hampir melemahkan kepercayaan ini. Banyak hal yang mampu meruntuhkan. Namun masih bisa bertahan. Karena kepercayaan ini. Kepercayaan yang dapat menawarkan kedamaian hati tiada batas.
Allah, kepadaMu aku tercipta. KepadaMu aku kembali. Karena hanya denganMu, kedamaian hati sesungguhnya itu ada.
Okay. I don’t want to start this post with a complaint. Let’s start with a smile. Give a big smile to other people. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrsss!!! 🙂
This 2 Februari 2013, all day I am at home. I don’t try to go anywhere. Just focus on my proposal. How I arrange and make it by my self. Sometimes, I feel envy with my friends in other faculty. They have registered themselves for the proposal examination. You know that? It is one of a good steps again to achieve the dream. Yup, a big dream.
I’m trying to steal time for arranging my proposal, little by little. I can say that I can do nothing yet. >.< And I hate that. This struggle takes my time so much.
Maybe, today I lost the time for my family, friends, and bf. But, it’s OK. I’m sincere if I have to sacrifice my time to my proposal (red: my future). I will accept all the consequences. Hope they understand with my condition now.
*Don’t force me to follow what you want if I can’t be with you.*
May it starts as suffering, but in the end, it will be rewarded with a happiness.
Aamiin Ya Rabb.
Sepak terjang dalam dunia percintaan ini terkadang bisa membawa kita ke langit yang tinggi. Hingga semua terlihat sebagai pencitraan yang mempesona. Setiap sudut dipenuhi senyuman yang mematikan logika. Sampai lupa pada perasaan bahwa hal ini tidak selamanya akan selalu seperti ini.
Kita bisa saja tiba-tiba terjatuh karena cinta. Dan dunia menjadi terasa gelap.
Jatuh terpuruk dalam nelangsa jiwa yang meredupkan hati yang dulu tersenyum.
Sebenarnya ketika kita tidak terlalu idealis pada asa yang sangat indah terhadap bersatunya dua hati yang berbeda itu, tidak terlalu sulit untuk beradaptasi pada tempat yang berbeda dan suasana yang berbeda pula. Yah. Karena ini hidup. Seperti lingkaran dan akan selalu berputar.
Ternyata asa tidak menjadi idealis yang berwujud realistis. Dan pikiran ini memaksa untuk bertindak menjadi dewasa dalam menyikapi segala komplikasi yang terjadi dalam hidup. Walaupun sebenarnya saya belum sepenuhnya dewasa. Yah, belum dewasa.
Terima kasih kepada seseorang yang telah mampu membimbing saya menjadi yang seharusnya. Lebih tepatnya sedikit lebih baik. Karena rupanya saya masih belum bisa mengubah sikap yang harusnya saya tidak lakukan lagi. Mungkin dia capek menghadapi saya hingga diam seribu bahasa untuk menegur saya. Mungkin dengan diamnya, dia menginginkan kesadaran muncul tentang suatu hal yang salah dari dalam diri saya. Tapi, sepertinya diammnya malah menjadikan saya tidak tahu harus berbuat apa. Saya harusnya berpikir. Ya, saya lagi-lagi salah.
Daripada harus terus-menerus seperti ini, saya pilih untuk menjauh agar tidak menjadi sebuah beban untuk kamu yang menginginkan kesadaran dari saya. Yang pada akhirnya tidak seperti apa yang kamu harapkan. Lihat, betapa tidak dewasanya saya. Ya kan?
Berapa kali kami mencoba bertahan, berapa kali saya mencoba lebih baik. Namun, lagi dan lagi. Tidak dapat diatasi. Tak apalah, walaupun kami tak bisa menyatukan hati pada akhirnya, yang terpenting kami dipisahkan dengan tidak tersakiti satu sama lain. Saya baik-baik saja. Kamu juga. 🙂
One of my favourite acitivities when I feel bored is WALKING AROUND IN KERATON FORTRESS with my little sister.
There I can look at the green forest and sunrise in front of me, hear the singing of birds, breath the fresh air, feel the freedom of my self, and find the peace in me.
I think how lucky people who live here.
Everyday, every morning they can still breath the fresh air and have friendly neighbours.
That’s amazing mercy from Allah. Alhamdulillah.
I write like this, it doesn’t mean that I amn’t thankful for His luck to me, but I just want to say something that I must say and write down on my blog around me, what I think, what I see. Because this is great. Will I get the moment like this later? When the era gets its progress for some years later.
I’m here like I don’t want to move. I want to stop the morning. I like morning day. It’s fun. My mind is always cool. Keep staying here and say ‘thankful very much to Allah. He is the Giver of All Favors.’
I see this beautiful scenery with using my glasses clearly. It seems gorgeous. The peace in me.
When I have to think about you because of last night, this mind forces me to let my heart be sincere, whether my heart will hurt or not. I sincerely go.
I am too much hurt you. 🙂
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